Hee Haw DVD

You may not know it by looking at us, but Cage and I are two of the world’s greatest inventors.  Our inventions are going to sweep through the trailer parks of America like a tornado sweeps through a… well through a trailer park.  Our first great invention, “Champaign in a Can.”  That’s right Champaign in a Can, (patent pending) for that “sophisticated” redneck.  Our next great invention, “Beer Bibs.”  I used to where bib overalls whenever I would go to a fancy shindig, you know, weddings, graduations, bar mitzvah’s and the like.  The beauty of overalls, you don’t have to change if you go straight from driving the JD 6030 to cousin Bertha’s wedding and then to the bar later that night.  It’s at the bar that I came up with the idea for Beer Bibs. (Patent pending)   See, I was walking around this crowded bar, and the cold beer bottle was making by hands cold, and my warm hands were making the beer warm.  Not to mention my hands were busy holding the beer so I couldn’t shake someone’s hand and wave to the cute girl on the other side of the bar at the same time.  That’s when I noticed that the pockets on the front of the overalls are the perfect size to fit a bottle of beer.  All you need to do is sew a coozie into the pocket, and you have beer bibs.  The greatest part of this invention, I had girls coming up to talk to me about my clever idea.  And these weren’t ugly girls either; real live cute girls were coming up to me to tell me how smart I was.  Jason Boland thought it was cool enough that I caught him on stage one time with a beer in his overall pockets.  Now all we need is a spokesperson, and I have the perfect nominee to hawk our product, Junior Samples.  Think about it, he already wears overalls all the time, he looks like he drinks plenty of beer, and I bet he would work for a case of beer.  Speaking of Junior Samples, has anyone gotten a hold of any of the Hee Haw DVD’s that are coming out?

Now, I know, some people don’t like Hee Haw, but many that say they don’t, have never watched it, or if they did watch it, it was only for a minute and they were looking for a validation of their excuse.  Seems like we humans do that a lot.  We do it with soccer, bluegrass music, Hee Haw, Heath Kirk internet music reviews; I could go on and on.  So, on that note, I proudly present my Hee Haw DVD review.  I’ll be reviewing the one with Johnny Cash and Jean Sheppard. (Hometown, Pauls Valley OK, population 6,195, SA-LUTE) 

I hear they’re using women in the Secret Service?

Yeah, their goes all our secrets.

In this DVD, Cash sings “Big River” and “City of New Orleans.”  I’ve always thought that “Big River” is one of his most underrated songs.  I mean come on, his tears are going to flood you big river.  In my book, it doesn’t get any better than that.

Doc, I’m afraid that I’m starting to lose my memory.  Should I be worried?

Nah, forget about it.

The Hagers sing “My Maria,” which would otherwise be forgettable, except for the fact that they used some of the same technology as Jack Ingram’s director used in his early videos.  Very cool.

Did you hear the one about the pencil?

Yeah, there’s no point.

For me, the highlight of this DVD, and maybe in my whole music listening experience is the “I’m so Lonesome I Could Cry” cover that Roy Clark performs.  I feel that every country act since Hank Williams is walking in his shadow.  No one will ever be half as good as Hank was, but after saying that, Roy Clark’s version of this song might be the greatest musical experience ever put to tape.  This version is definitely a more “pop” version of the song, but you can see and hear the pain in this version.  When Roy sings about the wipperwills, I almost want to cry myself.  In my opinion, this one song is reason enough to by the DVD.  It’s that good.

It’s not hard to tell a woman’s age, it’s not smart either.

Another highlight is George Lindsey (aka Goober) singing, well actually talking, “Mountain Dew.”  Great song about strong spirits and Lindsey does a jig; I never knew he was so light on his feet.

We figured she was rich, loaded to the hilt

And we figured she had class like the Vanderbilt’s

‘Cause we had heard for years that she was so well reared

How was we to know, they meant the way she was built

We also have Buck Owens singing “Rocky Top” and “Anyone Goin’ to San Antoine.”   Just makes the DVD even better.  This music legend will be missed.

So what have we learned today:

-         if you are so snobbish that you won’t ever watch Hee Haw, you’ll miss out on hearing Roy Clark’s version of “I’m so Lonesome I Could Cry,” and that would be a tragedy

-         Hee Haw has great jokes

-         and if you want some Beer Bibs, just give us a call.  You know how to get a hold of us don’t you?  Just dial BR-549.

I’ll give this DVD 5 out of 5 cans of champagne.