Your intro to the mind of Heath Kirk

“The new phone books are here!  The new phone books are here!  This is the kind of spontaneous publicity--your name in print--that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.”  That’s the famous quote from Navin R. Johnson (aptly played by Steve Martin) in the classic film “The Jerk.”   And things did start happening to him, he got shot at by a guy, invented the “opti-grab” glasses, became very wealthy, lost all his money and had his name tattooed on a ladies (and I use the term lady very loosely here) butt.  It’s kinda how I feel right now.  My name and thoughts in print, things are really going to start happening to me now.  I just hope it’s someone other than Van who gets my name tattooed.   

I like most kinds of music, well all kinds except rap, opera, commercial country and Kenny G, but especially commercial country.  I think that watered down crap stinks, and I work at a feedyard, so I know about things that stink.  I agree with Robbie Fulks when he said, “Hey, this ain't country-western!/It's just soft-rock feminist crap!/And I thought they'd struck bottom back in the days of Ronnie Milsap.” You won’t find any reviews of Keith “I hope I don’t lose my accent” Urban here, but you might find a review of Peggy “Substitute teacher of the year” Hill’s “Turtle Song.”  You won’t read any reviews from me about Kenny “I’m not man enough to keep Renee Zellweger” Chesney, but you might find a review about Robert “I already have a middle name” Earl “So I don’t need to insert stupid middle names in quotes into my name” Keen.  I’ll try to keep this up to date as much as possible.  Some of the music I will review won’t be available at Best Buy, but instead must be bought on the Internet.  I suggest lonestarmusic.com and milesofmusic.com. 

So what have we learned today, Steve Martin is comedic genius, Van is not getting my name tattooed on his derrière, I have Buzz Aldrin’s keyboard, Robbie Fulks has a way with words and reviews from some great artists are coming shortly.  I’ll leave you with a thought from Hank Hill “Find what your niche is, that’ll lead to riches.”  Wonder if this is my niche?