You know, sometimes it seems I’m always late to the party. One of Van’s favorite stories that I tell is when I first got my glasses. See (well actually, I couldn’t see, that’s why I needed glasses) the deal was I noticed my eyesight starting to go, especially when trying to see things in the distance. But it became a problem while I was coaching high school football. I was up in the booth during a game and the head coach wanted to know which d-lineman was getting into our backfield. Well, I informed him it was number 68. He told me there was no number 68 on the field and that is most likely number 63. Oops. So I went to the eye doctor to get my eyes looked at. Turns out I’m a little near sighted and have a slight stigmatism. Somehow I had always known there was a little bit of a stigma attached to me. So I put on my glasses, and suddenly, my life is now in focus. Well a couple days after I got my specs, dad and I are out in the front yard looking at a big thunderstorm just to our east. This was one of those that reached all the way to the top of the atmosphere. Well, a ways up there was a bunch of birds flying around. I pointed that out to dad, and he told me they had always been there. Guess I just had never seen them before. Yet another case where something cool has been going on, but I didn’t know about it. Of course now I usually don’t wear my glasses. Partly, because I’m not coaching anymore and don’t need to pick out numbers, but mostly because I like to make my life more exciting. And what could be more exciting in life than not knowing what’s coming at you next. Hey, what could be more exciting than not seeing a deer till you go by him at 70 mph? And I think it’s a ton more safer also, because the deer are used to playing chicken with cars that see them and slam on the brakes, and since I never lift, it scares the bejebus out of them and they make sure to get out of the way.
Well, another thing that has been around for a while that I thought was new and exciting is Dallas Wayne’s CD I’m Your Biggest Fan. Come to find out this CD was copyrighted all the way back in aught four, and I thought it was new. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t a great CD. In fact, if you love some good old honky tonk country, you will love Dallas Wayne’s music. I think he may be the actual king of the hook. Many of the titles are great hooks that take different twists than what you first may think the title means. She’s Good to Go, Junior Samples and It’s All Over, All Over Town are just a couple of examples. Of course, being the Hee Haw fan I am, Junior Samples is one of my favorite songs. Of course, like all of his songs, it’s not quite what you thought it would be at first glance. A great song that’s a thinker is Under the Overpass. This is a song that takes a look at life from a different point of view. Still Don’t Know How to Cry delves into one of those classic Country themes, lost love.
There’s no sound when I walk down the hallway
It’s almost like my feet have disappeared
My ears hear her whisper my name in every room
I turn around and she’s not there.
It’s All Over, All Over Town is a great song about some good small town gossip. I just love those types of songs. And I also love any song that wants you Crank The Hank. Personally, I think we would have a better country if we all just cranked up some Hank from time to time. Tell It to The Jukebox is mostly spoken, kinda like Luke the Drifter would do. It really suits his voice and makes for another classic on this CD. But my favorite on this CD has to be the title track. It’s a very good, dark (very dark at that) look at the world of stalkers. That’s right, stalkers.
You never answer my letters, you won’t return my calls
Why, I’m beginnin’ to think I don’t know you at all
And I found the flowers I brought you in a backstage trashcan
You know, you’re makin’ it hard to be you biggest fan
Now that’s just some good stalker lyrics there.
So what have we learned today:
- If you love good honky tonk music, check out a Dallas Wayne CD
- Sometimes I’m behind the times
- You can’t beat a good stalker song
- If you’re a deer that’s reading this (and I have it on good authority that deer do indeed read vanmarsalis.com) and think of playing chicken, it’d be best to get out of my way because I won’t see you
- And sometimes birds fly near to thunderstorms
I’ll give this CD 4 and a half out of 5 penetrating defensive lineman.