I used to live about 10 miles south of Bucklin, KS. My house was out in the middle of nowhere. When I say nowhere, I mean nowhere. A gravel road dead-ended at my house and the drive to my nearest neighbors was about three miles away. But I would go to town at least once a week to get my fill of inferno wings at the bar. (Side note: if you ever have the inferno wings at the bar in Bucklin, make sure you don’t stray to far from a restroom the next day, but they are so good going down you won’t really mind, trust me, no really trust me, it’s worth it) It was at one of these trips into town that I met up with two ladies (and I use that term loosely) that are still part of Bucklin lore. I was sitting at the bar when these gals started asking me some rather odd questions. What would an odd question be, you might ask. Well, like where the mayor lived, what kind of landmarks were in town and where were they located and the like. Well, I asked them exactly why they wanted to know all of these questions. Turns out they were on a kind of alphabet/scavenger hunt game. See they would go to one town starting with “A,” then to “B” and so on throughout the alphabet till they got to “Z.” (Zenda, KS) The rules were, it had to b a town with a population less than 5,000, (not a big problem in KS) and they had a point system. There were certain things that they had to do, get a drink, dance with a local and things like that. Then they had bonus items like, getting a key to the city (that’s why the mayor’s address was important) and get invited to a local party. It’s the “getting invited to a local party” that is important to our story here. Since there weren’t any parties planned for this particular Friday night, we decided to go to my house to have a party. It wasn’t a big party; there was only the two gals and four of us Bucklin-ites there. Now I’m not going to name names of those at the party (to protect the reputation of the guilty) but one was a former band mate of Van’s that calls Bucklin his hometown, and another went to college with Van and the former band mate when they were sentenced to go to NWOSU in Alva for a year or two. Now on Monday morning, there were four different stories going around town, depending on who was telling the story, but these are the undisputed facts as I recall them, and if anyone wants to challenge this recollection, they can get their own music reviews to tell the other side of the story, or as I like to call it, the unabashed lies that were put out only to slander the otherwise good name of Heath Kirk.
Since they were afraid they would get lost going to my house, me and the lushes loaded up in their F-350, power stroke, dually, 4 wheel drive with a super cab and leather seats and met the rest of the locals at my place. (Side note: I left my pickup at the bar, two of the local gossips noticed that I left with out of town girls, this will be important later) Now the local bartender says that I had had more than a few beers with my wings. The number that was quoted to me was in the double figures, but I believe that this is another of those unabashed lies. The first thing we did when we got to my house was to play a drinking game so the sober people could get soused. Since I only had two (or was it ten) beers, I thought it was a good idea. Little did I know that this was just an evil plot to pour more drinks down your humble music reviewer so we could tell lies about him later. The rules involved dice, I think, but long story short, I had another two (or was it ten) beers. The next couple of hours are kinda fuzzy because I decided to take a nap. Others claimed that I passed out but that’s another lie. You see, it looked like this party was going to go on for a while and I thought a nap would be good so I could see the end of the party. My good friends kicked me to make sure I was still alive. You don’t find friends like that everywhere. After I woke up from my nap, we played a game of truth or dare. All in attendance were amazed at my rally ability, but anyone does better after a nap. Basically, I got to kiss the better looking of the two and the best parts happened when the guy that went to NWOSU had to go to the bathroom. The party wound up around 4 or 5 in the morning and the girls decided to camp out in the back of their pickup, I guess it was part of the game. The next morning, I was up early to feed cattle, check water and other chores when I noticed one of them woke up. She glanced around and the look on her face said, “Where the heck am I?” Hey, you’re not just anywhere; you’re in the middle of nowhere. Well they got up took a shower and about 2 o’clock in the afternoon we headed to town to eat lunch and get my pickup. This is where the gossips part from earlier is important, because my pickup was still at the bar, and everyone in town knew I had left with two women. Anyone that has lived in a small town knows how fast this news spread. And when gossip spreads in a small town, facts (i.e. my truthful side of the story) are not important. The girls did mentioned that their time in the “B” town was a lot better than the “A” town, take that Andale. Point of the story, we partied till AFTER the cows came home. Big in Iowa has a song on their Geezil Pete CD about parting TILL the cows come home. Guess we had them beat.
When you see me ridin’ that old John Deere
And you’re out with the boys
Knockin’ back some beers
Save me a seat at the end of the bar
I need a long neck bottle and some rockin’ guitar
And when the time is right and my work is done
I’m gonna party all night
Until the cows come home
Ironically, Big in Iowa are all from Hamilton, Ohio. Guess they have crossover appeal; cross the mighty Mississippi that is. This band plays some great honky tonk music. Music that you may have thought was dead, but is alive in well on this CD. I knew I would like these guys when they made a reference to Buck and Roy in Hamiltucky Honky Tonk Hero. The song is about there being two ways to be famous, one is doing great wonderful things (Buck & Roy) and the other is to do some not so wonderful things. (Leaving your pickup in front of the bar all night or getting put in the local pokey)
I been arrested at the Grand Hotel
And Thrown in the Butler County Jail
Now I’m a Hamiltucky Honky Tonk Hero
They have other songs about heartache, motherly advice, Harley’s, and a black-hearted woman. But the common thread is the music behind the stories. Its always-good honky tonk, music that’s not cheesy enough to be played on most Country stations, but too twangy to be played on a pop station. But it’s the kind of music that should be playing every time you walk into a local honky tonk. If its not, I would try going to a different honky tonk. It’s really sad that these can’t get airplay but Kenny Chesney gets played over and over. It’s the main reason I don’t listen to the radio much anymore. I saw in their web site that they might be making a video, so look for them on CMT or GAC in the near future. In the linear notes, they have pictures next to the lyrics. The highlight of the entire purchase was the picture of the girl in the green dress, cowboy hat and red boots next to Black-Hearted Woman lyrics. Not to diminish their music, which is great, it’s just that she’s that hot.
Now she’ll tell ya
That no other man
Can take your place,
Then she’ll tear your heart out
And shove it in your face
So, what have we learned today:
- Bucklin is a party town
- Big in Iowa is from Ohio
- Their music is great
- And if your ever in a small town, never leave your pickup in front of the bar all night
I’ll give this CD 3 and a half out of 5 alphabet games.